apartments in New York City are well within the
price range of most people--whether they are
employed or not.
At least one of a pair of
identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse
a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will
always choose the right one.
Most laptop computers are
powerful enough to override the communications
system of any invading alien society.
It does not matter if you
are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to
attack you one by one by dancing around in a
threatening manner until you have knocked out
When you turn out the light
to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will
still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
If you are blonde and
pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on
nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Honest and hard working
policemen are traditionally gunned down three days
before their retirement.
Rather than wasting
bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch
enemies using complicated machinery involving
fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and
man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives
at least 20 minutes to escape.
All beds have special
L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level
on a woman but only to waist level on the man
lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags
contain at least one stick of French bread.
It's easy for anyone to
land a plane providing there is someone in the
control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will
never rub off--even while scuba diving.
You're very likely to
survive any battle in any war unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass
yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language. A
German or Russian accent will do.
A man will show no pain
while taking the most ferocious beating, but will
wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is
visible, someone will be thrown through it before
If staying in a haunted
house, women should investigate any strange noises
in their most revealing underwear.
Word processors never
display a cursor on screen but will always say:
Enter Password Now.
Even when driving down a
perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn
the steering wheel vigorously from left to right
every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with
electronic timing devices with large red readouts
so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
A detective can only solve
a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start
dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know
all the steps.
Police departments give
their officers personality tests to make sure they
are deliberately assigned a partner who is their
When they are alone, all
foreign military officers prefer to speak to each
other in English.